• My basket
  • Your Shopping Basket is empty.

Total — £ (ex. VAT)

Plain Insanity: Dancer / Dog / Ferret / Child

Award: Wood Pencil

Wood Pencil / Radio / Writing / 2009

To explain how ridiculously low the fares on Virgin Atlantic Upper Class are, we wrote a radio campaign where the entire script is completely nonsensical except for the Virgin offer. Dancer MVO: Plain Insanity by Virgin Atlantic SFX: Cuckoo clock MVO: I don’t often eat caviar for breakfast. Perhaps as rarely as twice a week. But it was only Wednesday. Or Dorisday. The lady in the tutu interrupted me mid-bite. She was licking a breakfast dog. ‘I was born to dance’, she sang as ketchup dribbled down her chin. Her wooden leg betrayed her. I quickly changed the subject to geography. ‘What’s the lay of the land?’ I asked. She tapped her wooden leg with the heel of her red stiletto three times. Her balance was uncanny. ‘I landed this evening’, she said ‘first class amenities for a business class fare’, she said. ‘Virgin Atlantic Upper Class’, she screamed, as if she had won at bingo. It was plain insanity. So I stared at her leg. Teak. Or maybe mahogany. Dog MVO: Plain Insanity by Virgin Atlantic SFX: Cuckoo clock MVO: A dog followed me home from the supermarket eight and three-quarter days ago. Not a big dog. But not a small one either. I let it in and made a pot of tea. It didn’t care for the tea, but it ate all the digestives. I drew a picture of the dog in purple crayon and placed it at the supermarket. We watched the news every night and I became quite fond of him. I called him Derrick after a bully in my school. Yesterday there was a knock at the door. ‘I’m here’, the woman said. ‘But where have you been?’ I asked. ‘I’m sorry, I’m married’, she said ‘my husband is in London’, she said ‘he flew first class for a business class fare. Virgin Atlantic Upper Class’, she whispered. She was plainly insane. So I gave her the dog. Ferret MVO: Plain Inanity by Virgin Atlantic SFX: Cuckoo clock MVO: I had seen him at supermarket the week before. He had been walking a blue iguana past the cleaning products. With sunglasses on. Today it was a ferret. I made my mind up to speak to him and approached with caution having seen a documentary on ferrets the night before. ‘Is it acceptable to put salt on your cornflakes?’ I asked the pale man. He removed his sunglasses and winked at me with his good eye. ‘I thought so’, I said. The ferret looked me up and down and I could tell he was drunk. The pale man then spoke slowly in a Northern Spangalese accent. ‘I recently returned from London’, he said ‘I flew first class for a business class fare’, he said, ‘Virgin Atlantic Upper Class’, he said. He was plainly insane, so I smiled and gave the ferret my business card. Plain Insanity Child MVO: Plain Insanity by Virgin Atlantic SFX: Cuckoo clock MVO: I can’t have children of my own. I have a heart condition and there’s no room for them. So when the small person approached, my guard was immediately up. It clutched a plastic budgie in its small hands. ‘Plinky-plonky’, I said. ‘Where did the ducks go?’ it asked sternly. This small person wasn’t joking around, it meant business and I was against the ropes. ‘Ducks fly from the dew’, I gasped. ‘Daddy flies first class for a business class fare’, it said. ‘Virgin Atlantic Upper Class’ it shrieked. This small person had either cunningly baffled me with its double-speak, or was plainly insane. It skipped away whistling The Eye of the Tiger.

Are you credited on this winning entry?

If you've been awarded Wood Pencil or above, drop us your details for further information about how you can order your D&AD Pencil. If you've previously won In Book or a Nomination and would like to celebrate your achievement with a Wood or Graphite Pencil, please let us know.

Please don't check this box.

We have placed cookies on your computer to help make this website better.
You can change your cookie settings at any time. Otherwise, we'll assume you're OK to continue.

Don't show this message again